The Disgruntled Lions of Italy

On a recent trip to Orvieto, Rome, Venice, and Bologna, I noticed that lions work hard holding up buildings, showing scrolls, and spitting water in fountains. Most of these creatures look unhappy, resentful, embarrassed, sad, anxious, or resigned to duty that they never dreamed would be theirs for eternity. Here are some photos of the kings of the jungle in their reduced circumstances. I added captions that expressed what they might be thinking. If they weren’t made of stone.

For other Italian photos, some lovely, some bizarre, please see my album on flickr: https://flic.kr/s/aHskBveufg

Oh crap, it must be four stories to the ground. That’s a long way, even for a cat with wings. (Basilica, Orvieto)

Get me down from here so I can eat some more Christians. (Rome)

It’s my job to spit water all day. Sigh. (Piazza del Popolo, Rome)

I’m a hunting trophy from the 19th century. Bite me. (Museum of Natural History, Venice)

Yeah I got a black eye. You should see the other guy. (Salute Basilica, Venice)

Oy oi oi, I’m not even Catholic. (Salute Basilica, Venice)

If these wings worked, I could fly away. (Venice)

It was worse before they put up the pigeon spikes. (Bologna)

This is not the worst job in Bologna. Really.

If I could get down from here, I’d show you who’s king of the forest.

You wonder why I look demented? I have to spout water all day. (Rome)

My brother over there is demented. I just need a cigar. (Rome)

I just think of it as puking on you. (Rome)

Where’s my incisor? (Rome)

Ack. (Rome)

No, I’m fine. Really. Yep. Really. Happy lion. More meds, please. (Rome)